Guidance and behavior are front-of-mind for early childhood educators. As children learn to express and manage their emotions, they may say and do things that educators find challenging. This can create stress—for both teachers and children!

As part of her prekindergarten center’s leadership team, Grace Luy coaches teachers on ways to respond to children’s challenging behavior. Here, she shares advice from her practice on how to guide children in positive, developmentally appropriate ways.

1. Observe and document. Children communicate through their behavior. I always ask, “What is this child trying to tell me?” They may be stressed by transitions or overloaded by sensory stimuli. Perhaps they’re unable to express their needs through words. I use a method called A-B-C analysis to observe and document certain behaviors, so I can put supports in place to address them. (Read more about the A-B-C analysis at the end of this article.)

2. Assess your learning environment. Where can you add supports to help children manage their emotions? These might include visual schedules, sensory breaks, or calming strategies, like deep breathing exercises or providing a safe space where children can go to manage big feelings. I teach a lot of social and emotional skills through books, social stories, role-playing, and feelings check-ins. For example, when children are playing, I intentionally model turn-taking skills by using the phrase “May I have a turn, please?” I also use a feelings chart as part of our morning routine, so children can tell me how they’re feeling at the start of the day. These kinds of supports help all children build empathy, express themselves, and feel safe.

3. Collaborate with staff and families. It’s important to work with your administrators, co-teachers, and any members of a child’s support team. If you’re struggling to guide the behavior of multiple children in your setting, ask for help from other professionals who are familiar with the children and your particular environment. If you’re a family child care educator, it’s important to look for community resources and to reach out to a child’s support team to plan and carry out behavior strategies. You also must collaborate with families. I share my observations with compassion and reassure families that my goal is to support their children.

4. Prioritize relationships. When children feel secure and connected, they’re better able to regulate themselves and engage positively. Work to build a relationship with them by actively listening, engaging in their play activities, and creating a safe and nurturing environment. I don’t consider challenging behavior a disruption; it’s a message for me to understand.

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