Cam made a decision and acted upon it when he communicated his no. Another component of social and emotional development is responsible decision making. Educators scaffold and teach children how to problem solve and choose between options to make decisions.
One way to do this is to provide children with options. Cam may not have realized that he had the choice to refuse a hug. Mrs. Hassan used his choice card, a familiar visual support, to give Cam specific options. In this way, she helped him to build self-advocacy skills, strengthen his decision-making power, and promote his responsibility toward himself and others.
Decisions also have consequences. Young children begin to learn the cause-and-effect nature of each choice through trial and error, such as when an infant’ s crying causes a caregiver to feed or comfort them. Mrs. Hassan knows that children continue to develop their understanding of decisions and consequences throughout their interactions in school, with adults, and with peers. She supported Cam by affirming that his no to a hug would be respected in their learning community.
The next morning, Avery attempts to greet Cam with another enthusiastic hug. Cam steps back, and his eyes search for Mrs. Hassan. She hurries over and gestures toward the laminated card. Cam touches the visual support and softly squeaks“ No hug” as he backs up farther from Avery, who looks, confused, between Cam and Mrs. Hassan.
“ That’ s okay,” Mrs. Hassan says.“ Cam was advocating for himself, and he said no thank you to a hug right now. But you could still ask if he wants to play with you.”
Not only did Mrs. Hassan teach Cam how to appropriately advocate for himself, but she also modeled how Avery could respond by honoring Cam’ s choice. This built upon both Avery and Cam’ s different social skills by allowing each of them their own choices while considering others too. It also shows how educators can differentiate instruction for each child.
Over time— and with intentional guidance— Cam and Avery will learn to balance the consequences of their decisions between self-advocacy and social relationships. A consequence of Cam’ s answer might be that Avery is initially disappointed to miss out on a hug from her friend. However, Avery and Cam will continue to positively interact with each other while respecting each other’ s advocacy and boundaries.
Avery turns and says to Cam,“ Hey, wanna play water table?”
Cam jumps, waves his picture card in the air, and announces,“ Yes!” He and Avery dash away, ready to play.
Incorporating Self-Advocacy in Your Setting
Self-advocacy is an important skill not only for children with disabilities, but for everyone. The early childhood years are not too early to start learning how to advocate for themselves! Early childhood educators have a terrific opportunity to model and teach self-advocacy skills while also supporting every child’ s social and emotional growth. Here’ s how you can intentionally incorporate self-advocacy skills, including with children across age groups.
56 Educating Young Children
Summer 2026